you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
