i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
