theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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