we're blogging at a bar
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
