what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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