he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You need a sexual gate keeper
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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