Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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