I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My feet surprised me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
