My brain says no but my pants say off.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
