my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
