my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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