If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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