I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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