I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
