I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
