we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
