the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
no. you can't hotbox the world.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
