conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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