How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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