Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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