Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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