Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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