Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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