i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
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Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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