please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
