I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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