I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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