remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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