So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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