quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
