I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
where does the pee come out of this thing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
