Buhtt sex?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
