What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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