Pappa wants mamma naked
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My feet surprised me
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