dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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