And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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