I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
