I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
