therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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