I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
