his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
