Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just pee around me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
