It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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