I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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