We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
