I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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