I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
