I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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