I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
