i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Your mouth is God's brothel.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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