have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
