I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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