it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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