I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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