My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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