I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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