She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
