did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
